The $2.99 All You Can Eat Buffet

Now, where was I?

The piece of land this company is built on sits in a small valley and because of the geography of the land the main office building was constructed into the side of the hill. What this means is that a large portion of the ‘first’ floor of the building is actually subterranean. Now, this building is constructed out of solid steel girders and supports and has poured concrete walls, which makes it impossible to pick up a radio signal but makes one heck of a great tornado shelter.

Oh and here’s a fun fact: I’ve been on assignment here for almost two years and this was the first time I’d ever been downstairs.

The basement of this building houses the engineering (cheap joke: genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration and that’s why engineers smell so funny) and the purchasing departments as well as a few ‘odds and ends’ like the head of maintenance and the assistant to the plant manager, and resembles a rabbit warren. No really! There are walls and doors in strange places and it seems to be really lacking in logic in terms of layout but I was able to locate the ladies room (would that be considered ‘over-sharing’?) down at the end of a long, dark, door-less hallway.

Production line employees had been pulled off the lot and stood silently shoulder to shoulder in the conference room while the office staff just wandered around, perching on the edge of desks and tables, stealing chairs from the engineers and watching the sky though the tiny basement window. Rain pounded down, wind howled, distant trees bent and twisted, and pointless conversations were had.

Me: This is the first time I’ve ever been down here.

Purchasing Clerk: Really?

Sales Guy: *laughing* Well, you can see how much work they do down here!

Purchasing Clerk: Yeah, we just spend all day just standing around. *laughing*

Me: That’s all we do upstairs too.

*Everyone laughs*

Yeah, my sarcasm wasn’t even that funny but it killed the entire room. Everyone laughed, even the guys packed like sardines into the conference room. I really should have utilized my captive audience to a greater advantage…

After a few more minutes the all clear sounded and by the time I got back to my desk I could see blue sky and sunshine through the clouds. The work day ended and I hit the grocery store because there was a sad lack of food in the apartment and it was on my way home when LibraryDiva called me (a conversation she has grossly exaggerated on her blog, btw).

Brace yourself for more thrilling antics, ya’ll!

Me: Hello?

LD: How are the cats?

Me: I don’t know because I’m not home yet.

LD: Really??!!

Me: Yeah, I needed groceries.

LD: Oh.

Me: But I’m on my way there now.

LD: Okay.

Me: *driving*
….
….
….
Me: Oh, there are police and ambulance lights on W Street.
*uses O Street to get home*

LD: What’s going on???

Me: Don’t know, can’t see it.

LD: Do you think it’s in the complex?

Me: Don’t know.

LD: I’m staying on the phone until you get there.

Me: Okay.
*driving…turning…parking….unloading groceries…hauling groceries upstairs*

Me: I have to put you down to unlock the door.

LD: JUST COUNT NOSES FOR ME! I HAVE TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE ALL THERE!!!

Me: *thinking where else would they be?* Okay

Me: *wandering through the apartment*
…
…
*calling to Thing One and Thing Two*
*finds all three*

Me: All accounted for.

LD: Okay *hangs up*

See? I told you she totally over exaggerated things. But that’s the LibraryDiva for you…life just doesn’t have enough drama to suit her.

I had only been home for a few minutes when the tornado sirens went off again in downtown and I did any level headed adult living on the third floor of a wood frame apartment building would do…I emptied the garbage can and started dinner.

And that, boys and girls, was that!