Monday, March 31, 2008

Friday, March 28, 2008

Infiltrating the Boy’s Club

…one blog post at a time.

You can totally blame this on Blake (and thinking back over all the time I knew him in college a lot of stuff seemed to get blamed on Blake), because he started it. Robert rose admirably to the challenge and then Carl chimed in with his own choices. Feeling that it was unfair that females were shut out of this little game (due in large part to the fact that none of the male participants have girlfriends) I thought that I would contribute my thoughts on the subject. So here it is, The Blissfully Unaware ‘I’m stranded on a deserted island and I’ll never hear any other music but what I have on this CD’ Mix. All choices will be backed up with reasoning for their inclusion and I promise that I won’t cop out with a cheap answer like: “Because I’m a girl,” or “OMG! BEST SONG EVER!!!”

(Blogger’s Note: These songs are in no particular order because I tend to listen to a mix CD on shuffle anyway.)

She’s Always a Woman to Me: Billy Joel
A lover’s ballad from back in the days when Billy was still bringing his ‘A’ game (Can a girl really use sports clichés? I’ll have to ask the guys about this…). In this lyrical look at what attracts a man to a woman, Billy not only points out the flaws in the object of his affection but explains that these are the reasons he loves her. *Sigh*

Into the Mystic: Van Morrison
A smooth mix of blues and soul, this song is about a spiritual quest. And where better to have a song about an introspective spiritual quest then when you are stranded on a deserted island with a lot of free time on your hands? Though not my absolutely favorite Van Morrison, I would find it a lot more comforting. Plus, I just really like it.

Maybe I’m Amazed: Paul McCartney and Wings
“Maybe I’m a man and maybe you’re the only woman who could ever help me…” This is considered to be one of McCartney’s greatest love songs, written for his wife Linda immediately following the breakup of the Beatles. You can hear the love McCartney has for his wife in every line, the need to be near her, the comfort he takes from her…and there isn’t a woman on the planet who can’t appreciate the sentiment.

Farther Down: Matthew Sweet
I doubt that you have heard of this one, but it is a great song nonetheless. Written in the vein of ‘Every Breath You Take’ by the Police, this song of obsessive longing lacks that ‘creepy stalker’ vibe that Sting perfected in his hit single.

Time in a Bottle: Jim Croce
It’s simple, it’s beautiful, it’s acoustic, and we should all love someone that much.

Tiny Dancer: Elton John
There is just something about this song. Every time I hear it I just have to sing along and once I’m stranded on the island I might even make up a little dance to go with it.

Midnight Train to Georgia: Gladys Knight and the Pips
Ah, Motown. This is the music that I grew up on and there is something about this song that just says with me. Have I ever loved someone enough to give up everything and follow them across the country? No. And once I’m stranded on an island my chances are even slimmer. But hey, it’s a great song.

Signal Fire: Snow Patrol
Snow Patrol is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. I’m noticing a trend in my song choices for this game…a lot of romance and a lot of longing…which I’m sure says something about me but we won’t go there. If you haven’t heard this song yet I recommend that you snag it off iTunes.

Pieces: Dan Powell
Would you look at that? Another love song…geez! But it’s a great song, and the sentiment is beautiful. This one is from the soundtrack of the movie ‘A Knight’s Tale’ starring the late Heath Ledger. And (and yes, I know you shouldn’t start a sentence with and) every time I have this CD in my car this song is on repeat for at least two days.

Dancing in the Moonlight: King Harvest
Perhaps my favorite ‘oldie’ of them all. This song is mellow and melodic, is easy to dance to and fun to sing along with. Since there won’t be much in the way of night life on my deserted island I suppose that dancing in moonlight will be a pretty standard form of entertainment…good thing I like this song.

When the Morning Comes: Hall & Oats
I’ll admit it, though LibraryDiva already knew, I’m a Hall & Oats fan. Chances are that you’re a fan of theirs too…but you just don’t realize that the song you’ve been singing along with on the radio was performed by them. This was a tough choice because there are about a dozen of their songs that could have taken a slot on this list. An odd choice perhaps, what with this being a song about being stood up by your lover.

Bittersweet Symphony: The Verve
Perhaps one of the most enduring songs of the late 90s, I have yet to encounter someone who does not like this song. This one not only dredges up memories from my last year of high school (not always a good thing) but it also reminds me of what a different time the in my life that was. Plus, I just really like it.

Day by Day: Robin Lamont and the Cast of Godspell
Okay, as cheesy as this is going to sound, this song sums up what it means to be a Christian in modern times better than any other song I’ve heard. The fact that it comes from an award winning Broadway musical is really just another plus.

Street Corner Symphony: Rob Thomas
My favorite single off Rob’s solo album ‘Something to Be.’ You can sing to it, dance to it, or just lay on the sand and listen to it while you work on your tan.

Don’t Stop Me Now and Somebody to Love: Queen
Because if I’m gonna be stranded on a deserted island then by God, I will be singing at top of my lungs to something written by Freddie Mercury…and these are two of the best.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Idle Wednesday

Here, have something pretty to look at.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Shocking Truth

…about how I got through college.

I talked a lot about this:

And a lot about them:


And quiet a lot about this handsome devil:

Oh…and there was a little about this, and this, and this, and this, and some of this too.

And then I graduated.
(Okay, okay…so maybe it wasn’t quite that easy…)

A Mouse Story

Several (and by ‘several’ I mean ‘seventeen’) years ago a small gray field mouse moved into my parent’s house during the coldest days of winter. The idea of having a mouse in the house didn’t bother me much…until it darted out from under the bathroom door and ran across the top of my bare feet. Much screaming occurred…I’m not proud of it but at least I’ll admit to it.

A few days later the mouse was once again cornered in the bathroom and at my mother’s insistence my father (the brave warrior that he is…*cough*) was determined to catch the poor creature so that it could be released in the yard. With no real plan in mind my father barricaded himself in the bathroom, instructing me to hold a towel across the bottom of the door to prevent the mouse from squeezing its way out of the bathroom. My father then valiantly gave chase to his fuzzy adversary, pursuing his enemy with …the plunger. Words fail me when it comes to describing the sounds that a plunger makes when it is repeatedly being stamped down onto a linoleum floor and then wrenched skyward again. After several minutes the battle was over and my father stood victorious…a piece of sturdy cardboard clamped under the plunger and the mouse trapped securely inside. Our little visitor was then dumped unceremoniously onto the frozen grass and darted away into the cold darkness of a winter night.

But I’m sure that somewhere in the woods surrounding our neighborhood, that mouse’s great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandchildren are plotting their revenge.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Thing One and Thing Two

The two creatures pictured above are my roommate’s cats. They are overweight, odious, obnoxious, rude, nosy, stubborn, self centered and leave pieces of themselves wherever they go (kind of like lepers but lacking the optimistic attitude).

And they like to sit in my laundry basket.

And sleep on my bed.

But perhaps the most outrageous thing of all…they demand that I love them.

And then cuddle up to my feet in return.

*Sigh* What's a girl to do?

Because I Know

…that these things keep you on the edge of your seat.

There has been some disbelief expressed over the singularly stunning display of logic contained in a previous post entitled ‘Corporate Genius.’ So to further validate my claim that this tale of managerial aptitude did indeed ‘actually happen’ I give you this:


Once the office manager was informed (by myself…and I managed to do it with a straight face so you should be really impressed with me) that the plants in the lobby are in fact plastic great pains were taken in order to insure that the decorative moss and green floral foam packed inside the base of each plant would not mildew when exposed to rain. The ensuing round of ‘cut up garbage bags and tape them around the plants,’ an exercise in which I did not participate, was really quite entertaining to watch. Unfortunately, the wind proved to be a most unexpected foil (“the best laid plans of mice and men” as they say…).

Yet Another Monday

I swear I saw these same eyes watching me from the darkest corner of the living room on Saturday night...it was creepy!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Corporate Genius

Yesterday afternoon the heavens finally parted and copious amounts of rain began to flood down in torrents. At some point during the deluge the office manager wander through my line of sight and proceeded to fluff the drooping leaves of the large potted plants which grace the corners of the company lobby. After determining that not only were these particular plants exceedingly dusty but that their pronounced ‘droopiness’ was due in large part to lack of proper watering on the part of the evening cleaning staff, the office manager decided that two birds could be most effectively killed with one stone by simply setting the plants out onto the brick walkway in front of the building during the downpour.

So here is a picture of the plants out in the rain. (Thank you, trusty cell phone camera.)

But that isn’t why this story became a blog post, oh no! The reason this little tale was turned into blog fodder is because these plants…are fake.

Random Picture Thursday

Random Turtle Humor Thursday


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Why I Don’t Do Customer Service

Blogger's Note: The following comments were overheard while I was standing in line at the bank today on my lunch hour. All gramatical errors are genuine and were left in so that you might be as amused by them as I was.

Mother in line: “Jimmy! Stop sucking on that…you doesn’t know where it’s been!”

Customer at counter: “Wes (the apparent plural of ‘we’) done did have an account here, ‘bout twenty years ago. Can’t you look it up on that there computin’ thing?”

Mother in line: “Jimmy! Take it out your mouth. TAKE IT OUT!”

Teller line manager: “Without an account here we couldn’t cash it for you no-how.”

Mother in line: “Jimmy! Get down from there ‘afor you break your head.”
Jimmy: *whining*
Mother in line: “GET DOWN!”

Male customer in line: “And that’s why I use condoms.” (This was completely unrelated to the whole ‘Jimmy and his mom’ thing that was going on and was actually part of a different conversation. But it was still freaking comedy gold!)

Mother in line: “…and NO, you aint gettin’ no lollipop!”

But the entire crowd fell silent as a large, rather pungent woman waddled toward the counter. The teller was momentarily (and visibly) horrified but managed to cover it well. “I,” croaked a voice heavy with smoker’s cough, “want to make a deposit.” A large beefy hand crept up across the wide expanse of faded, flowered muumuu…heading for the collar. A silent shudder ran through the crowd as the mitt like hand was plunged deep into the folds of the circus tent sized muumuu…and from some sweaty, slimy, bra-less place it reemerged clutching a wad of soggy greenbacks.

Jimmy: “Mommy…I threw up.”

My sentiments exactly.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Do You Think He Cries Black Tears?

It’s Monday

Which means you should at least have something pretty to look at while you work ... inside... all day... while the temperature approaches seventy... and the sun shines... *sigh* If only we didn't actually need the money...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Random Thoughts on a Thursday Afternoon

Ah, the bookstore. Whether it be a restful haven in the middle of the crowded mall, or a stately free standing brick and mortar Mecca, there is just something wonderful about a bookstore. A bookstore, not unlike a library, has a certain ambiance about it…an air of quiet meditation and peace. They are hushed places with overstuffed armchairs in the corners, muffled murmurs of conversation and the faintest hint of coffee from the café scenting the climate controlled re-circulated air. In sort, for me at least, they are a little slice of heaven right here on earth. I wander happily through the neatly organized and alphabetized shelves quite pleasantly contented and feeling that all is right with the universe in that moment.

I went to the bookstore yesterday after work, seeking out the peaceful solace after what can only be described as a tiring day. I selected four new titles to add to my already crowded collection and made my way to the check out counter prepared to add yet another charge onto the credit card bill. (I have really got to cut back!) When what should happen to fall out of the side pocket of my purse but the mall gift certificate given to me at Christmas by the company CFO!! My four new books cost me a total of $1.46 and there is nothing that could have made my day any better than that.

Random Turtle Humor Thursday

Ted is really moving up in the world.
He's not only got a "McJob," he's also got a "McApartment."
(Which means he's finally out of his mom's "McBasement.")

Random Picture Thursday


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Gotta Love A Fairy Tale


Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fuckin’ think so.

Flowers


More pretty stuff to look at while I slave away in front of a computer on a perfectly beautiful day. If I were still in college I would have totally skipped classes today and headed for a park.

Spring

Well, dear reader, to quote the late John Denver “springtime is rollin’ round slowly.” One of the things I love the most about living in the south is that the seasons change so peacefully here. Winter fades away as daffodils bloom, the grass and trees get greener as the weather warms into a brilliant summer which lingers well into late September. Fall is breathtaking with it vibrant colors and crisp air and then winter settles over us like a silent blanket of gray light. (Check me out…waxing eloquent…) While fall is truly my favorite season, there is a special place in my heart for spring. There is just something magical about watching as the earth comes back to life, waking after the long drowsiness of winter. The dogwood and cherry trees burst into fountains of white blossoms that dance happily on the first warm breezes as birds return to the tree tops filling the parks and quiet places with song. *sigh*

Had enough? Yeah, me too. Happy Spring!



Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Idle Tuesday

Nothing going on (except work) and nothing much to say. So here, look at some pretty wildflowers instead.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Because it’s Monday

…and Mondays can be frightening.
Looking for a serious scare? Check this guy out. Talk about something that will leave you scared for life. Just remember…I warned you!

Friday, March 7, 2008

@#$%&!

I am an avid reader. Just ask any of my friends or any member of my family. There are, in my opinion, very few things which measure up the value of books and the knowledge which can be attained from them. I doubt that I shall ever forget the look of astonishment of the face of one of my favorite college professors when he glanced over the rough draft of my bibliography for his final paper and realized that all of my listed resources were books.

When I am unable to locate a specific book at any of the retailers located within a fifty mile radius of my apartment I turn to a trusty internet resource to order them from (we’ll just refer to it as “A”) and have the title in question delivered to my front door. No fuss, no muss, no worries. Usually.

Several months ago I decided that I would like to read this book:

The Forsyte Saga is John Galsworthy's monumental chronicle of the lives of the moneyed Forsytes, a family whose values are constantly at war with its passions. The story of Soames Forsyte's marriage to the beautiful and rebellious Irene, and its effects upon the whole Forsyte clan, The Forsyte Saga is a brilliant social satire of the acquisitive sensibilities of a comfort-bound class in its final glory. Galsworthy spares none of his characters, revealing their weaknesses and shortcomings as clearly as he does the tenacity and perseverance that define the strongest members of the Forsyte family.


Being unable to attain it locally I turned to “A.” Alas, it was out of stock but there were many reassurances that once it became available it would be sent to me post haste. Having no shortage of available reading material at hand I felt that a five to seven week wait wouldn’t bother me overly much and ordered the book. (Let me pause here for a moment and explain that the edition of the book I ordered was to contain the ENTIRE saga, meaning all five of Galsworthy’s stories.)

Last week the book finally arrived. Imagine my dismay when the book was unpacked and not only was it merely the ‘first volume’ (containing only three of the novels) but it looked as if the book had been thrown around the warehouse before shipping. The cover was bent and scratched, the pages were twisted and worn and considering that I had expected this book to be in ‘brand new’ condition I was justifiably horrified…because you just don’t treat books like that! (Yeah…Madame Pinch, the Hogwarts Librarian has nothing on me… (check that out, a Harry Potter reference right in the middle of the post…I’m such a dork but I embrace it so I guess that’s healthy)). So I promptly contacted “A” via email and received a very nice reply. I could simply pack the book up and return it at their expense for a full refund, which I did.

But this story doesn’t end here…oh no! Having been let down for the first time ever by “A” I turned to “B” another online book retailer. Not only was the book in stock but they promised that I would only be waiting three business days for its arrival. Excitement overwhelmed me (…okay, okay, I might be abusing sarcasm at this point…). The book was ordered, the package was tracked and three days later a small box lay upon the doorstep. A box that looked a little too small to contain a book of nearly 900 pages. The box was opened and inside was a brand new copy of:

As I Lay Dying: the harrowing, darkly comic tale of the Bundren family's trek across Mississippi to bury Addie, their wife and mother, in the town of her choice. Faulkner lets each family member--including Addie--and others along the way tell their private responses to Addie's life.

Oh [phenomenally monumental amounts of obscenities deleted in order to maintain the G rating of this blog] dear.

However, one phone call to the customer service line for “B” and a short chat with “Jeff” later (which included much exasperated expounding upon the details of exactly how a novel about a wealthy family set in Victorian England had NOTHING in common with a depression era story set in the American south) the book was reordered and I was to be sent a return form. These arrived on Tuesday. This time the book was correct, and Faulkner was packed up and shipped out, never to darken my door again.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Fifty is Nifty!

…even if the post title is flagrantly cliché.

Congratulations dear ‘Blissfully Unaware,’ you are two months and fifty posts old. Hurray for you! I never would have imagined that we would come this far but writing this blog is much cheaper than therapy and just as cathartic. I would also like to thank my readers and friends (...all four of you) for the occasional comments and phone calls and dinners out and well…you know…

Things have been rather on the quiet side this past week, due in large part to the resolution of several family medical issues which won’t be discussed in this particular post. Now that things are calm and my stress level has returned to normal there doesn’t seem to be that much to say, but fear not…something is bound to drive me crazy again soon!

*Gasp*

Monday, March 3, 2008

Monday at Work

Would somebody call IT?...Please?!!