Sunday, May 31, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Personnel Redistribution

So…LibraryDiva moved in with her significant other, Carl.

And she took Thing One and Thing Two with her.

So now it’s just me and the Midget.

And that’s okay.

A Gentle Reminder

Karma is a bitch.

Note: No, this is not my car…this is the car of the person who feels that they are ENTITLED to park in the handicapped walkway in front of my apartment building.

Because We’re Friends

For those of you who don’t know, and this may be quite a few of you, LibraryDiva has some hidden mad skills…one of which is playing the violin as part of a local community orchestra. Last weekend she had to perform for the orchestra’s spring concert series and the final performance was at a small Catholic church in the small mountain town where we all went to college. And since we will use any excuse to get together for a few hours and hang out, the majority of the gang turned up at the church.

The orchestra warms up…LibraryDiva is in there…you just have to look really hard.

It’s JustJulie…from a really bad angle! Sorry about that!! Note to readers: JustJulie is way cuter than she looks in this photo!

And the BalletDiva…sorta fuzzy…

Apparently, love has made both Robert and BalletDiva clinically insane.

And here’s Carl…who NEVER smiles like a normal human when a camera is aimed at him. Seriously, he has a very pleasant smile but it’s apparently as camera shy as Bigfoot.

We giggled like the idiots we secretly are over the ‘Keg O’ Holy Water.’

And we even found time to mock the poor fashion decision we witnessed while at dinner.

So yeah, a good time was had by all.

The HistoryDiva God-daughter turning six in like two weeks! *sigh* Where does the time go?

Because There is Only One Letter of Difference

…between ‘talking’ and ‘stalking.’

A few weeks ago LibraryDiva and I felt the need to visit our own personal Ephesus (see your local neighborhood Christian reference book for an explanation) the nearest KrispyKreme. Making our way down the interstate we encountered a driver poking along in the fast lane…and I mean really poking along…doing like fifty in an area where most people are moving at upwards of eighty. Reaching the end of her patience with this particular motorist, LibraryDiva attempted to pass on the right (which is a no-no, but this was a desperate situation…WE NEEDED THOSE DOUGHNUTS!) at which time the ‘poke-y’ driver apparently discovered the gas pedal and LibraryDiva was unable to pass. After effectively ‘trapping’ us in the right lane, Mr.Pokey cut in front of us and took the same exit we were planning on taking.

At which point LibraryDiva’s vindictive streak got the better of her.

Yep, we followed him.

All the way down the crowded road in front of the mall.

Giggling, pointing, and taking pictures the whole time.

And to say that our behavior freaked this guy out would be putting it mildly.

Finally we decided to go get our doughnuts and leave Mr.Pokey to his freshly instilled paranoia, so we pulled off…waving and smiling as he looked in our direction. We used back roads to reach our destination and after securing some seriously sugary bounty we pulled back into traffic…only to encounter Mr.Pokey sitting in the line of traffic directly to our left!

Immature? Yes

Potentially dangerous? Yes

Ridiculously amusing at the time? Yes

As The Cheesecake Burns

Earlier this month our dear friend JustJulie had a birthday…which I missed…cause of that whole ‘tired and lazy’ thing I’m doing now. (Yeah, it’s lame…but you should totally try it sometime.) So, in a effort to maintain my status as a ‘good’ friend I devised a brilliant plan - namely, I brought some awesomely tasty cheesecake to Girl’s Night and demanded that we celebrate!

Here you see the artful way in which I decorated JustJulie’s slice of cake…try not to let my mad cake decorating skills intimidate you.

And then we lit her slice on fire…cause who doesn’t like to play with fire?

Then she blew out the funky neon colored twisty candles and stuffed her face…like you do when it’s your birthday!


We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Blog

…for a full on FanGrrl moment…


We now return you to your blog already in progress.

I Really Hate Faulkner...

…as I have mentioned before. And were I not so lazy I would have totally located that post and inserted a link right here…cause I’m awesome like that…you know…when I’m not tired and lazy.

For Robert

"...gonna need a new Timmy."

And yes, I'm totally in love with Cyanide and Happiness.

For LibraryDiva and BalletDiva

...because they'll appreciate it! :)

Author’s Note

Hi there! I just wanted to drop you a little note and let you know that yes, I’m still alive! Hurray!!! I know I haven’t posted in a while but life has a way of getting in the way, and my job just sucks up vast chunks of my day. You’re not the only ones suffering…my cross stitch has been seriously neglected too.

But on to the point of this little note: I have LOTS of stuff to post. In fact, I’m going to posting a month’s worth of updates in the next day or so…or maybe I’ll just do it all tonight…I don’t know, it depends on how tired I get. Anyway, on to the updates!

Love, HistoryDiva

The Existential Crisis of the Caged Animal

It Came From An Email

Once upon a time there was a girl named HistoryDiva, and she worked for a large manufacturing company. Unfortunately for the manufacturing company, the economy was taking a turn for the worse, which meant that some of the workers were being ‘down sized.’ However, this fiscal slump did nothing to deter the waves of under-educated job seekers who routinely slipped past the less than vigilant security guards and made their way to the human resources department.

One day, a rather inebriated job seeker stumbled his way into the office and demanded that he be given an opportunity to apply for a job that wasn’t available and would have required skills he didn’t have.

HRGuy: We aren’t hiring.

DrunkenJobSeeker: It’s discrimination! You have to give me a job!

HRGuy: There are no jobs.

DrunkenJobSeeker: It’s discrimination! I demand a job!

HRGuy: We don’t HAVE any jobs.

DrunkenJobSeeker: IT’S DISCRIMINATION!!!!

HRGuy: Okay, you have to leave now.

DrunkenJobSeeker: Well, I demand to talk to the hiring boss! I want to know my chances of getting me a job here.

HRGuy: That would be me.

DrunkenJobSeeker: So…you gonna give me a job?

HRGuy: No.

DrunkenJobSeeker: IT’S DISCRIMINATION!!!

HRGuy: Yes. Yes, it is. Now leave.

The End!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Sunday, May 3, 2009

A Night At The Opera

Last weekend, cause I’m all kinds of ‘timely’ when it comes to updates…don’t judge me, I was invited by the H.O.P.S.F. and her significant other Dave to join them for an evening at the opera. And since I am all about the ‘cultural opportunities’ I made my way down to the Cobb Energy Center to catch the Saturday evening performance of Richard Wagner’s ‘Der fliegende Hollander.’ (That’s ‘The Flying Dutchman’ for the one of two of you who don’t know your German.)

Now, the performance was beautiful and the performers were amazing. I mean seriously, the talent on that stage was just outstanding. The set design was extraordinary, the costuming was beautiful, and the orchestra in the pit just about played their fingers off. It was a wonderful experience and I’m so glad I went.

But the plot of this opera?

Let’s just say I didn’t dub it “The Misadventures of EmoBoy and the FanGrrl” for nothing.

So here, summed up as only your beloved HistoryDiva can, is a brief retelling of ‘The Flying Ductchman: aka The Misadventures of EmoBoy and the FanGrrl.’

EmoBoy: I am tormented.

FanGrrl: *faint*

EmoBoy: No one knows how I suffer.

FanGrrl: *squeal*…*faint*

EmoBoy: My heart is black and cold.

FanGrrl: *turns blue*…*faint*…*twitch*

EmoBoy: I wish I was dead.

FanGrrl: *throws self dramatically off cliff*…*dies*…*twitch*

Audience: *standing ovation through SIX curtain calls*

So yeah, good time had by all.


Friday, May 1, 2009

Life Imitates Art??

As you know, since you are a long time reader of this wonderfully entertaining blog, Thursday nights are trivia nights. And last night, down at TriviaPub, well…this happened…

The question was “Name the 1967 Turtles’ hit which goes: ‘Me and you, and you and me, no matter how they toss the dice, it had to be…’”

And as soon as TriviaGuy stopped talking…the entire place erupted in song!

That’s right, a room full of strangers burst into a spontaneous musical number.

Laughter and applause erupted, and TriviaGuy was at a loss for words (which was a first).

Through the giggles LibraryDiva and I had the following conversation:

LibraryDiva: I can’t believe the whole place just broke into song!

Me: For about ten seconds there, we were actually living in a musical!