It is possessed by Satan.
About six months ago I received this piece of brand spanking new office equipment to replace my very derelict HP printer, which struggled to keep up with my work load on its best days. And for quite some time this printer worked like a dream, laughing in the face of 50 three page invoices, giggling with glee at the prospect of the morning reports and grinning broadly at mere mention of jig production schedules. We got along like peas and carrots.
And then I had to replace the drum…and the Prince of Darkness moved in.
The first problem that arose was my inability to get the ‘drum life counter’ to reset correctly. Despite carefully following the directions the counter simply would not recognize the new drum. After a long day of battle I finally prevailed. This just seemed to anger the Old Gentleman.
He then started shredding invoice paper.
Now, what you need to understand about our three page invoice is that the paper for it is about five times more expensive than regular old printer paper. So I was understandably unhappy with this development. And because the Lord of the Underworld likes to laugh at our pain he threw in a new twist.
Now he only eats the white page of the invoice, leaving the yellow and gold pages alone. However, I managed to foil this nefarious plot by exchanging the white invoice page for plan white printer paper (got an okay from the boss) and that seems to work.
However, to make things even more complicated then they were before, Beelzebub has decided that the printer will mutilate every page of paper it encounters if you ‘over fill’ the paper tray. And by ‘over fill’ I mean more than 14 sheets of paper at one time.
And this morning he decided to do this to every single sheet of paper he encountered.
OH! And it went all Linda Blair and started spewing toner. Seriously! I had to change my shirt at lunch because I was covered in a fine layer of black toner dust.
I have been seriously contemplating bringing a bible, wards, and holy water to work and attempting to exorcise the demon. Now, if I can just find an old priest and a young priest…
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