A Diva Weekend Update

Sunday (yes, I’m starting with Sunday…wanna make something of it?)

LibraryDiva, my roommate and best friend, is one of the nosiest people on the planet. She comes by it honestly however, having inherited it from her mother, but on Sunday evening LibraryDiva learned to rue this trait. She had noticed, in passing, that the door to the apartment next door (a.k.a. residence of CREEPY NEIGHBORS) was open. Having seen the last of these particularly odious co-habitators on Friday, I was more than fairly certain that the apartment was now empty. At LibraryDiva’s insistence we investigated this matter. (Meaning she dragged me out of our apartment, down the breezeway and knocked on the door.)

Since no one answered our knock LibraryDiva pushed the door open, an action she immediately regretted. We were granted our first peek inside the former apartment of our creepy, leering, drunken, druggie neighbors. The carpet, at one time identical to the light tan wall to wall in our apartment, was black with both filth and dog hair. Clearly visible were ‘clean spots’ (which were still filthy) outlining the placement of the couch and a chair. A thick curtain of cobwebs, dust, and filth hung from the blades of the ceiling fan. The walls were stained, discolored, and there were several large holes where it appears that our neighbor lost his temper and took it out on the drywall. The kitchen light fixtures were broken and flickering (I guess they left them on) the counters were covered in grime and someone had ripped a drawer out from one of the cabinets. The linoleum was gray with filth. We crept deeper into the apartment because we could hear the bathroom fans running and see other lights still glowing in the gathering gloom of evening. The carpet in the hall and bedrooms was just as discolored as the living room carpet. The bathrooms were caked in grime and had obviously never been cleaned.

We beat a hasty retreat, tip toeing across the disgusting carpet, and scampered back to the safety of our place. Frantic hand washing and house cleaning immediately commenced and since when it comes to keeping our place clean neither one of us could be referred to as lazy you can only imagine how tidy things are now. We came to a mutual agreement that neither one of us would EVER complain about the others housekeeping skills again.

Saturday

On Saturday LibraryDiva journeyed to the city for a workshop pertaining to her profession. She learned interesting things like “The Card Catalog and You: An Insider’s Guide” and “Which Reference Questions Get Librarians Hot under their Indexes.”

Ah…Library humor…

Anyway! Since I was all by my lonesome I decided to do what any healthy young girl my age would do…that’s right…I cleaned my bathroom! Good times…

What with all the riveting activity going on around the home place you can only imagine my relief when the H.O.P.S.F. called and demanded that I go with her to a bookstore, a craft store, and a doughnut shop. I told her she was an agent of Satan and that she needed to be gone from my home. She giggled and said she would be there in twenty minutes. I groaned, took a shower, and got ready to leave. *Insert that old joke about ‘lead me not into temptation, I already know the way.’* We went, we shopped, and we had fantastically fun time. We finished off the evening with ridiculously large amounts of sugar and a chick flick.

Friday

On Friday I worked, came home, spent the evening doing nothing important and went to bed. Then Robert called. Since I was up…again, I decided to wander out into the hall and see what LibraryDiva, who had agreed to work late and thus didn’t arrive home until well after midnight, was up to. She looked at me guiltily. I demanded to know where the fuzzy interloper was. She introduced our new ‘temporary’ roommate.