Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A Diva Update

…of sorts.

Here are some of the happenings in and around Diva World Headquarters that you, dear reader, might find entertaining. And yes, I said might.

Our friend Robert is having the worst two weeks EVER. Poor Robert. His life has become one gigantic “I told you so,” and since I was the one who told him so I don’t know how much pity I can really feel for him at this point. I love you sweetie, but you just seem to keep setting yourself up for folly. Grad school will be better.

Our friend Carl is reportedly also setting himself up for a fall. While on vacation with his family it has become apparent that he has been away from the female population of his own age for far too long. Enjoy the bikinis while you can Carl. And seriously…don’t keep lusting after that CRAZY chick up north (or the underage one at home); no good can come of that my friend.

I had a tail light burn out over the weekend and got it replaced yesterday…with mixed results. The conversation between the two mechanics attempting to replace the bulb went something like this:

Guy #1: “Is that it?”
*gun shot like sound of rigid plastic snapping*
Guy #2: “Nope.”

Yeah…but on the plus side they didn’t charge me for the bulb.

On the home front we had some really excellent news this weekend. Opening the door on Saturday morning LibraryDiva and I discovered the disaster area formerly known as the breezeway in-between the apartments. There were empty soda and beer cans, an empty bottle of whiskey, and more cigarette butts then could be counted. Putting in a call to the office not only promised a visit by the maintenance guy who would clean things up for us but also revealed some much welcomed news. The creepy couple who lives next door to us are being evicted at the end of the month. Apparently there have been so many complaints against them that the management has finally had enough and has decided to kick them out. (And apparently – this is via the grapevine – it is going to cost the owners of the complex THOUSANDS of dollars to get their apartment back to ‘rentable’ condition.)

Also in neighbor news, the young couple who lives in the apartment directly across from us has been getting nasty notes from the management all month. It seems that they have failed to pay their rent yet again. If the management decides to take legal action against them it seems that LibraryDiva and I will have the top floor all to ourselves. In the event that this happens I just might take Robert’s advice; write a strongly worded letter to management explaining our intent to run up our flag and declare ourselves an autonomous part of the complex. We’ll name it Diva-stan.

Thing One and Thing Two are still fat and lazy.

I had a rather troubling dream Sunday night. But rest assured that I awoke filled with resolve that should LibraryDiva become a zombie I would easily get the better of her…after that momentary bout of queasiness at the thought of having to lob off her head. My dream last night was no better, I’m afraid. It involved my car getting stolen by our Hispanic downstairs neighbors (though why I would dream this I have no idea) and my futile attempts to negotiate its prompt return. Interestingly, despite several panicked phone calls to the authorities and multiple assurances as to their timely arrival, the cops never showed up.

My relief at finding my car safely located in the parking lot where I left it after work last night prompted a small consolation prize to settle my rattled nerves…

Oh, and this link is for LibraryDiva.

3 comments:

LibraryDiva said...

And yes, we do have a flag!

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!

~BalletDiva
(a sometimes vistor to Diva-stan

Kassia525 said...

Creepy neighbors getting evicted! Yay! The breezeway and stairs may actually stay clean now :-)