I don't understand it

It was announced via news media channels today that the actor Lee Thompson Young took his own life in the early hours of this morning. Most recently know for his role as Detective Barry Frost on the show Rizzoli & Isles, Young's body was discovered with what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

This got me thinking.

I don't understand suicide.

I know that depression is a real thing, and that it can take you to places within yourself that are dark and lonely. I know that sadness can linger. I know that there are times when it feels like emptiness will swallow you whole. I know that everyone has inner demons to fight. I know that loss, and addiction, and pain can build a prison of despair.

And I know that for some they feel driven beyond control. They stand on the edge of the cliff looking down into their personal abyss and believe that there is nothing left to hold on to.

And they let go.

I know that.

But I don't understand it.

I don't understand because I have never been there. Sad, yes. Lonely, yes. At a breaking point, oh yes. But I've never been there. I know that the sun will rise in the morning. I know that dawn will break and waves will crash, and clouds will roll by. Wind will rustle the leaves and the grass, sway the mighty oak, awaken a chorus of birds who will fill the air with song. I know that in the light of a new day things that seemed so big in the dark hours of the night will be shown up without their shadows.

I know that.

And I know that for some people, the horrors of the night can still be seen even in the bright light of a cloudless day.

I know that.

But I don't understand it.

If you or someone you love is in need, please reach out for help.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

This post is dedicated to the memory of Lee Thompson Young.