Dude! I thought we'd worked this out!

So…Monday is trying to kill me. 

No, don't attempt to tell me otherwise. At this point, I'm pretty much convinced.

Today started about as badly as any Monday can. My alarm didn't go off. Now, thank goodness I've finally gotten smart enough (no comments, Carl) to set redundant alarms for weekday mornings. It was actually the back up alarm on the iPod that I heard…which is amazing because it is incredibly faint. I scrambled around looking for my phone and grumbling about the whole 'pre-dawn bull**t' thing. Turns out, my cellphone - which has been giving me problems for almost a year - had turned itself off overnight…AGAIN.

Which means no alarm…just silence.

Way to be a POS there, little Samsung Evergreen.

So I pulled myself out of bed and promptly tripped over the cat.

I picked myself up off the floor, threw the cat out of my room, and managed to somehow roll my ridculously heavy full sized bed across my toes THREE times while attempting to make it. Yeah…those 'locking wheels' have proved 'really' effective on our wood floors.

As I was limping down the hall to the shower I tripped over the cat again. Fortunatly for me, I managed to avoid both the glass door and all the pointy corners of the hallway.

I picked myself up off the floor again and promptly kicked the cat in the butt, sending him scampering across the living room.

The shower helped, at least the water was hot.

The toilet seat fell off. I have no idea how the hell that actually happened, but it did.

I burned myself on the flat iron twice.

I almost ran over two of the neighbor kids who thought it was might be a 'great' idea to stand in the middle of the foggy street wearing grey hoodies and backpacks this morning rather than at the corner where its nice and safe.

I got honked at no less than a dozen times on the drive to work because I was going the speed limit.

I dropped my large sweet tea on the way into work and so I'm wearing more of it than I got to drink. (But at least I didn't spill it in the car because OMFG!!!)

And I've managed to jam not one, not two, but all THREE of the shredders in my department this morning! I've gotten them all moving again but I'm bleeding…yeah, don't ask.

And it isn't even lunchtime.